Kyle rolled off the bed. I feel unfit to be a mother. It was a 2 feet drop onto a tiled floor. The thud and his screams won’t leave me. As I rushed to him, I felt a paralyzing fear grip me from head to toe; I was in total shock.
Wednesday’s are my pediatrician’s off days and my primary doctor was out of the office so I called my registered nurse that helped me take care of Kyle in his first week. She said to just monitor him and to watch for vomiting and high fever.
He fell face down but I feel a soft lump on the side of his head. My nurse advised me to just cool the lump with a washcloth – she thinks it’s just a bruise. Other than the lump, he seems to be his normal self. He had his feeding and continued to smile at his wretched mother. 😦
I’ve been tearing apart baby boards for advice and I feel temporarily reassured that this happens to almost every new mom. But I can’t help but feel completely useless and unfit to be a parent.
He’s been asleep in my arms since and I realize it has been awhile since I’ve let him stay long enough on my chest until he falls asleep. How selfish of me to think that I was too tired or that he was too heavy to have him fall asleep on me. I feel horrible. I don’t know what to do with myself.